Monday, April 21, 2008

The importance of decluttering

It's spring time and if you're like me, I feel an urge to get ride of a lot of "stuff". I want to clean my closets, rearrange the house and work in my garden all while spending time working and taking care of my family. How can I do it all? Where do I start? My house or my family?

I have found that when my house is not in order, my life tends to follow suit and vice versa. Whenever my work desk is overflowing with piles of papers that were supposed to be put away a month ago, my focus is not as sharp. But I feel like I don't have the time to do it all.

These are a few reasons that I think that decluttering is really important. It not only affects the way the house looks but how you feel as a person. Your level of energy and focus become depleted because of clutter.

So you might be wondering, what does this have to do with relationships? Well, relationships need to be tended to just like our house. If there is too much clutter, we can't see where we are going and often times feel overwhelmed. It is more difficult to be focused when everything needs some attention. As individuals, we need to feel safe in our homes and in our relationships. So where to start?

1.Start with a list. What is it that really needs to be done? Work in zones or in areas, whether it is in the home or with your relationship.

2.Arrange your list in a way that the things that would make the most change for you now are put first. Why? Because you are more likely to do those first.

3.Choose between two and three things on that list that you would like to work on for the next four to six weeks. Then break them down into smaller steps.

4.Start planning on when to do these steps and follow through. As you start seeing changes, see if there isn’t anything else on our list that you could add that would help you to “declutter” your life.

5.Acknowledge and celebrate your successes. If you don’t, what’s the point of doing this right?

Following these few steps will get you started to feeling a bit less cluttered. When everything finds its place in your house and in your life, life starts to feel a little more breezy. Have a great day.

For more on coaching and how I can help you, go to . Have a great day.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Stepmother Poem

I read this poem on a discussion group and just loved it. I wanted to share it with you. If anyone knows of the author, please let me know so that I can give credit to her.

What is a stepmother?
A step below or a step above?
Someone for you to (sometimes) love?
Someone to share your laughter and tears?
Or do you grow quiet when she comes near?

What is a stepmother?
A step above or a step below?
Someone to teach you and help you to grow?
Is she a mystery to you, or someone you know?
Are you true with your feelings, or are they for show?

I'm a stepmother, so let me define
What a stepmother is, at least in my mind
A stepmother cares for her family and home
And loves her step kids like they were her own
She fixes their meals, treats a cold, ties a shoe
Anything that a kid's real mom would do

A stepmother consoles you when you feel sad
And hands out a punishment if you are bad
She'll tuck you in bed and read you a story
And yet, it's the real mom that gets all the glory

A stepmother hides the tears that she cries
When mother's day comes and then just slips by
With no card, and no hug, though she really feels sad
She won't let you see it, won't let you feel bad

She feels like an outsider but tries to fit in
If you're playing a game with her, she'll let you win
She makes sure your birthday is one special day
And when hers is forgotten, she'll just look away

When your teen years come, life gets much tougher
With a stepmother these years, for her, are much rougher
You may say or do something that injures her feelings
Please keep in mind that she hurts while she's healing

Your stepmother has done the best she could do
And no matter your age, she'll always love you
For her birthday, the best present to get her
Is the most precious of all, that you didn't forget her

As written from a subscriber on