Monday, February 23, 2009

Dealing with health issues

My dear readers.

I want to start off by appoligizing for not being very consistent with my blog. I really value that I have readers wanting to read what I have to say and wondering how come she hasn't put anything up, especially after saying she would.

In the last few weeks, I have been really tired and totally not myself. I decided to see my doctors and was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism. For those that do not know what exactly it does to you, here is a link to a magazine that came out.

I am confident that once I start treatment, I will be back to my old self with the energy that people around me are use to. In the meantime, I will allow myself to be taken care of (as I have taken care of so many people in my life) and will focus on the areas of my practice that I can do.

When I come back to this blog, I intend to be fully present and provide you with quality information that you deserve. In the meantime, I will recharge myself and think of you all.

Best to all


Monday, February 16, 2009

Question of the Week

OK. Here as another question for you to pounder. This one actually came to me after talking with couples who had been widowed for a while and eventually remarried.

Stepfamily issues arise only when younger children or teens are involved. True or False.

As you consired this question, ask yourself why or why not is this situation different or not.

See you on Wednesday.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Response to Monday's "Question of the Week"

Alright. So now you've had a few days to think about my statement on Monday which was
"Stepfamilies are the same as nuclear families (never divorced and with no prior children from other relationships) True or False".

The answer is False. Here is why.
  1. Stepfamilies are born out of a loss of dream, of a former relationship, of having both biological parents always together to raise and protect the children.

  2. The relationship between the stepchildren and the stepparent is due to living arrangements or through the marriage of their parent. They are not blood related.

  3. The children came before the relationship and have a previous history, the longer it is, the more complex it can be.

  4. Family values differ from one family to another. This is especially so if two adults bring each their children with their sets of family values. Merging these values needs negotiation and patience.

  5. In the nuclear family, ugly fairytale don't exist. Boy meets girl, fall in love in live happily ever after. In stepfamilies, the stepmother is always the evil one, hating her stepchildren and making their lives ever so miserable.

Understanding the differences in stepfamilies and nuclear families is the first step towards creating a harmonious and realistic family life.

If you have questions or comments about this post, I would love to hear about them. If you would like to know more about my 6 week stepfamily program, go to

Monday, February 9, 2009

Question of the week

This is a new series that I am launching to help stepfamilies assess where they are and where they are going within their families. Everyday, I encounter husbands/wives, fathers/mothers and children thinking that they are going to do things differently, that they know what do differently this time. But press them a bit, by asking them what makes this relationship different, what is it exactly that they can do they seem to stumble and have to think about it some more before answering.

This weekly series is designed to help you think about what your beliefs are about stepfamily life and ways to help you get started in communicating to your family ways to improve.

Every Monday, I will post a true/false statement pertaining to couples and family issues, mostly in areas of stepfamily life. On Wednesday, I will post my advise to these issues as to why they are true or false and what steps you can take to start moving your life towards a more empowering and enriched family life.

So follow me here and share your ideas and thoughts on stepfamily issues. Together, we can make a difference not only in our own lives but in the lives of future families also.
This week's first statement is:
Stepfamilies are the same as nuclear families (never divorced and with no prior children from other relationships). True or False?

Come back on Wednesday to see what my response is to this statement. Have a great day.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Letting go of control

Everyday, I coach couples and individuals on not blaming themselves for everything that happens in their lives. I tell them that sometimes, it's the situation that creates the problem and not you. This is especially true when someone you love is sick and not well. We look at what we did or could have done better to make sure that everyone is healthy and protected.

Well I too face those demons and need to remind myself that I do not control the entire universe. All I want is the best for my family and my husband and yet I too face the problem of having to see that the situation is the problem and nothing I did made it good or bad.

So today, to honor my feelings and give me some time, I've taken a very long hot shower to wash away my worries and problems, washed my hair with beautifully scented shampoo to help me relax, meeting with a great friend who will listen to me without giving my tones of advice and spend quality one on one time with my wonderful husband.

This is what I tell my clients and friends and this is what I plan on doing today. Tomorrow will be another day, full of hope and challenges, with friends and family there to remind me that I cannot control the universe but can change the way I see it.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

A bit of romance please!

Ok, so it's really, really cold outside. What a great time to sit by the fireplace with someone special, bring some pillows and blankets, your favorite drink and just sit there and talk about good experiences. Take this opportunity to discuss how the two of you met, what you did, where you where and what you talked about. Put yourself back in time and savor that moment. Enjoy the feelings that come up and share them with each other.

Taking the time to remember special events, helps to bring you closer to each other. What makes couples drift apart is often the day to day routines of taking care of the kids, working, chores, and errands. It never stops unless you take the time to pause and relax.

So why not take a few hours just for yourselves and indulge in remembering that special moment where you fell in love and knew that this person was the one that you wanted to be with for the rest of your life!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

February is Relationship Month

February! The first thing that comes to my mind is Valentine's Day, and then hearts and the chocolate. YUMMMM! This is all possible because of my wonderful husband. I must confess, he is not perfect (as I am definitely not) but what is great is that we work at our relationship all the time. Sometimes it's lots of fun, other times, well, let's say that it can be like going to the dentist ;0).

What is important is to never give up if this is really the person that is yours to keep (I always believe that there are exceptions to every rule, such as abuse. More on this eventually). So because I love February so much, I will be sharing tips on how to build and maintain your relationship with your No. 1 partner.

To help you with creating a stronger and more loving relationship, I am offering to you a one-time-only 30 minute free coaching session for the month of February. This is the perfect time to bring in your issues or dilemmas that have been nagging you for months (or years) and get free help. No strings attached. The time to do something is now. You deserve to have the kind of relationship you've been dreaming about. So email me at and set up your free 30-minute coaching session and see what changes can happen.

Looking forward to hearing from you