Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Moving my blog

I want to thank you for reading my blog. With the help of my great webdesigner, I now have a blog on my website. I ask you to come follow me there and see what I am up to.

Here is the link:

I look forward to your input and comments there.



Monday, February 23, 2009

Dealing with health issues

My dear readers.

I want to start off by appoligizing for not being very consistent with my blog. I really value that I have readers wanting to read what I have to say and wondering how come she hasn't put anything up, especially after saying she would.

In the last few weeks, I have been really tired and totally not myself. I decided to see my doctors and was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism. For those that do not know what exactly it does to you, here is a link to a magazine that came out.

I am confident that once I start treatment, I will be back to my old self with the energy that people around me are use to. In the meantime, I will allow myself to be taken care of (as I have taken care of so many people in my life) and will focus on the areas of my practice that I can do.

When I come back to this blog, I intend to be fully present and provide you with quality information that you deserve. In the meantime, I will recharge myself and think of you all.

Best to all


Monday, February 16, 2009

Question of the Week

OK. Here as another question for you to pounder. This one actually came to me after talking with couples who had been widowed for a while and eventually remarried.

Stepfamily issues arise only when younger children or teens are involved. True or False.

As you consired this question, ask yourself why or why not is this situation different or not.

See you on Wednesday.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Response to Monday's "Question of the Week"

Alright. So now you've had a few days to think about my statement on Monday which was
"Stepfamilies are the same as nuclear families (never divorced and with no prior children from other relationships) True or False".

The answer is False. Here is why.
  1. Stepfamilies are born out of a loss of dream, of a former relationship, of having both biological parents always together to raise and protect the children.

  2. The relationship between the stepchildren and the stepparent is due to living arrangements or through the marriage of their parent. They are not blood related.

  3. The children came before the relationship and have a previous history, the longer it is, the more complex it can be.

  4. Family values differ from one family to another. This is especially so if two adults bring each their children with their sets of family values. Merging these values needs negotiation and patience.

  5. In the nuclear family, ugly fairytale don't exist. Boy meets girl, fall in love in live happily ever after. In stepfamilies, the stepmother is always the evil one, hating her stepchildren and making their lives ever so miserable.

Understanding the differences in stepfamilies and nuclear families is the first step towards creating a harmonious and realistic family life.

If you have questions or comments about this post, I would love to hear about them. If you would like to know more about my 6 week stepfamily program, go to

Monday, February 9, 2009

Question of the week

This is a new series that I am launching to help stepfamilies assess where they are and where they are going within their families. Everyday, I encounter husbands/wives, fathers/mothers and children thinking that they are going to do things differently, that they know what do differently this time. But press them a bit, by asking them what makes this relationship different, what is it exactly that they can do they seem to stumble and have to think about it some more before answering.

This weekly series is designed to help you think about what your beliefs are about stepfamily life and ways to help you get started in communicating to your family ways to improve.

Every Monday, I will post a true/false statement pertaining to couples and family issues, mostly in areas of stepfamily life. On Wednesday, I will post my advise to these issues as to why they are true or false and what steps you can take to start moving your life towards a more empowering and enriched family life.

So follow me here and share your ideas and thoughts on stepfamily issues. Together, we can make a difference not only in our own lives but in the lives of future families also.
This week's first statement is:
Stepfamilies are the same as nuclear families (never divorced and with no prior children from other relationships). True or False?

Come back on Wednesday to see what my response is to this statement. Have a great day.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Letting go of control

Everyday, I coach couples and individuals on not blaming themselves for everything that happens in their lives. I tell them that sometimes, it's the situation that creates the problem and not you. This is especially true when someone you love is sick and not well. We look at what we did or could have done better to make sure that everyone is healthy and protected.

Well I too face those demons and need to remind myself that I do not control the entire universe. All I want is the best for my family and my husband and yet I too face the problem of having to see that the situation is the problem and nothing I did made it good or bad.

So today, to honor my feelings and give me some time, I've taken a very long hot shower to wash away my worries and problems, washed my hair with beautifully scented shampoo to help me relax, meeting with a great friend who will listen to me without giving my tones of advice and spend quality one on one time with my wonderful husband.

This is what I tell my clients and friends and this is what I plan on doing today. Tomorrow will be another day, full of hope and challenges, with friends and family there to remind me that I cannot control the universe but can change the way I see it.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

A bit of romance please!

Ok, so it's really, really cold outside. What a great time to sit by the fireplace with someone special, bring some pillows and blankets, your favorite drink and just sit there and talk about good experiences. Take this opportunity to discuss how the two of you met, what you did, where you where and what you talked about. Put yourself back in time and savor that moment. Enjoy the feelings that come up and share them with each other.

Taking the time to remember special events, helps to bring you closer to each other. What makes couples drift apart is often the day to day routines of taking care of the kids, working, chores, and errands. It never stops unless you take the time to pause and relax.

So why not take a few hours just for yourselves and indulge in remembering that special moment where you fell in love and knew that this person was the one that you wanted to be with for the rest of your life!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

February is Relationship Month

February! The first thing that comes to my mind is Valentine's Day, and then hearts and the chocolate. YUMMMM! This is all possible because of my wonderful husband. I must confess, he is not perfect (as I am definitely not) but what is great is that we work at our relationship all the time. Sometimes it's lots of fun, other times, well, let's say that it can be like going to the dentist ;0).

What is important is to never give up if this is really the person that is yours to keep (I always believe that there are exceptions to every rule, such as abuse. More on this eventually). So because I love February so much, I will be sharing tips on how to build and maintain your relationship with your No. 1 partner.

To help you with creating a stronger and more loving relationship, I am offering to you a one-time-only 30 minute free coaching session for the month of February. This is the perfect time to bring in your issues or dilemmas that have been nagging you for months (or years) and get free help. No strings attached. The time to do something is now. You deserve to have the kind of relationship you've been dreaming about. So email me at and set up your free 30-minute coaching session and see what changes can happen.

Looking forward to hearing from you


Friday, January 23, 2009

Upcoming Teleseminar on Stepfamilies and Finance

Money is often a big issue in many families and this is so true when you're in a stepfamily/blended family. Why is this? Well for one, the money used to support one family is now used to support two, it is being stretched at times beyond the maximum. The lost of control on how that money is being spent is another issue that these families faces. Also, do you pull you money together or do you keep it separate? I invite you to join me on January 29th, at 7:30 pm (EST) for a one hour free teleseminar on Stepfamilies and finances (long distance charges may apply). I will share ideas and strategies to help you create a plan that works for you in your family.
For more details, go to
Thank you and looking forward to seeing you then.

Friday, January 9, 2009

What are you waiting for?

One thing that I hear over and over when talking about stepfamilies is people telling me "I wish I had known how (hard, difficult, different, rough, much work it involved) before we had gotten married. I don't think I would have gotten involved." My questions to you is "So how is it working at this moment?"

I am one of those people. I know that when I met my husband, I was so naive and full of good intentions, thinking that "I" was going to be better than the others. I was more willing, more dedicated, more whatever you want to add here. Well, I woke up and smelled the coffee. I am one that would have liked to have known more about marrying someone with children, dealing with the ex-spouse and finding support and understanding. But after being with my husband for 19 years and YES!!! working really hard at our relationship, I don't think I would have changed a single thing. WHY? Because I would not be the person I have become, neither would my husband or our kids.

We learned because of the experiences we lived. We got the help and knowledge to understand why we were going through stages that didn't make sense to us, because we had not lived in a stepfamily as we grew up. We didn't have family members supporting us because they didn't know what made us different from the traditional family. What helped us was that we believed in each other and wanted to make a difference in our lives and in our children's lives. We got books, tapes, conferences, seminars and counselors to get us through the hard times. We also learned to celebrate the good ones too.

I am so glad that we rode with the punches because now my husband's daughter, who will be getting married in May, won't need to worry about how her mom and stepmom will be acting in the same room at the wedding, or who she should have with her to help her choose her wedding dress,or who to turn to when she is feeling anxious. She has two moms (a bio mom and a step mom) to help her and doesn't need to choose because we each have our space in her life. And that, is what I call success in my stepfamily.

So what are you waiting for? Read my January Newsletter (it's free to sign-up- plus you will receive a BONUS report on "The Outsider Syndrom") where I talk about setting goals to help your create harmony and unity in your stepfamily.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Wishing you a great 2009

Well, first let me start by wishing you and your family a very Healthy and Prosperous 2009. I think that we all need this after the year that we just finished. But the good news is that now we get to start fresh with new ideas and goals to get us moving.

Talking about goals, I've just finish writing my Info Steps Newsletter which talks about how and why to get goals (rather than resolutions). If you're not registered (it's free), just come and visit my website at and sign up for my monthly newsletter. You will also receive a free report on how to deal with "The Outsider Syndrome".

This year will be an exciting year for us as we will be celebrating my stepdaughter's wedding in May. I will keep you posted on how organizing and participating in a wedding when you're in a steprelationship goes. Our vision is for it to go really great.

Again, Happy New Year 2009