Response to Monday's "Question of the Week"

Alright. So now you've had a few days to think about my statement on Monday which was
"Stepfamilies are the same as nuclear families (never divorced and with no prior children from other relationships) True or False".

The answer is False. Here is why.

1. Stepfamilies are born out of a loss of dream, of a former relationship, of having both biological parents always together to raise and protect the children.


2. The relationship between the stepchildren and the stepparent is due to living arrangements or through the marriage of their parent. They are not blood related.


3. The children came before the relationship and have a previous history, the longer it is, the more complex it can be.


4. Family values differ from one family to another. This is especially so if two adults bring each their children with their sets of family values. Merging these values needs negotiation and patience.


5. In the nuclear family, ugly fairytale don't exist. Boy meets girl, fall in love in live happily ever after. In stepfamilies, the stepmother is always the evil one, hating her stepchildren and making their lives ever so miserable.

Understanding the differences in stepfamilies and nuclear families is the first step towards creating a harmonious and realistic family life.

If you have questions or comments about this post, I would love to hear about them. If you would like to know more about my 6 week stepfamily program, go to http://www.coachingsteps.com/

Question of the week

This is a new series that I am launching to help stepfamilies assess where they are and where they are going within their families. Everyday, I encounter husbands/wives, fathers/mothers and children thinking that they are going to do things differently, that they know what do differently this time. But press them a bit, by asking them what makes this relationship different, what is it exactly that they can do they seem to stumble and have to think about it some more before answering.

This weekly series is designed to help you think about what your beliefs are about stepfamily life and ways to help you get started in communicating to your family ways to improve.

Every Monday, I will post a true/false statement pertaining to couples and family issues, mostly in areas of stepfamily life. On Wednesday, I will post my advise to these issues as to why they are true or false and what steps you can take to start moving your life towards a more empowering and enriched family life.

So follow me here and share your ideas and thoughts on stepfamily issues. Together, we can make a difference not only in our own lives but in the lives of future families also.
This week's first statement is:
Stepfamilies are the same as nuclear families (never divorced and with no prior children from other relationships). True or False?

Come back on Wednesday to see what my response is to this statement. Have a great day.

Enjoying your day on Mother's Day

Women are nurturers by nature. We often are very busy taking care of our children, our partner, and friends. We are out there doing something to help out at school, at work or in the community. But how often do you sit down and say " Wow, I need to take care of myself". We don't do it enough. We even wait until we get frustated or upset. This Mother's Day, give yourself the gift of giving yourself some time to take care of yourself. Sure, you may have the children prepare you a nice card, have your partner take you out for brunch or even cook something for dinner. But what about yourself? What have you done for you? Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

1. Take the time to be by yourself and read a book. The house will not fall to pieces during that time.

2. Take a nice long bubble bath with some soothing music. Bring your favorite beverage while you're in there and enjoy. Put a "Do Not Disturb" sign outside the door.

3. Go for a nice manicure and if you can splurge, go for the pedicure too. It will make you feel a little more special!

4. How about a nice massage. This is one of my personal favorite thing that will really take care of me and my spirit.

5. Meditate for an hour. This replenishes you as a person.

I am often reminded of the importance of taking care of myself whenever I take the plane. They remind us to put our oxygen mask on first and then assist others. Taking care of yourself is doing exactly the same thing. It gives you the energy and willingness to continue to be the great Mom everyone sees you as.

Have a great Mother's Day!