Friday, June 27, 2008

What I wish for every little girl.

While doing research on challenges stepmom and biomoms face, I came across Christina's beautiful short story that I would like to share. This woman has lived the many facets of what motherhood is like. She also has a book for sale that talks about children in stepfamilies and ways to nagivate through the issues.

What I wish for every little girl.

To have a Dad who teaches her abundance, boundaries and self respect.

A Dad who is strong and balanced in himself.

A dad who has a life and lives it fully.

A Dad who is romantic with his wife not only because he loves his wife, but he is smart enough and wise enough to understand that little girls are "watching" every move he makes with the adult woman he is with because one day they will be adult women who want their own lives and if Dad mistreats, ignores, is out of balance with the adult woman-the chances that his daughter will grow up and meet a man who mistreats her, ignores her and is out of balance will be great.

To have a Dad who teaches his daughter to be a "Team Player" inside the family because he knows that his daughters life will blossom and grow in healthy ways if she learns early on how to particapate inside of a family and if she learns that other people are equally as important as she is.

To have a Dad who doesn't lead his parenting with guilt over a divorce or two houses, instead teaches his daughter the value of diversity and appreciation for the reality of life so she grows up with her own internal emotional strength to handle life on lifes terms.

To have a Dad who understands that sometimes when a little girl cries, to let her cry, and if you don't, she'll never be able to be in the world.

To have a Dad who does not "Save" her but teaches her how to handle things on her own and tells her how proud he is when she is able to make good choices for herself.

To have a Dad who will not violate her trust and mix boundaries and do things with her, that he should be doing with his wife.

To have a Dad who understands that every time he is with his daughter she is watching, she watches him when he looks at other women's bodies and how he looks at other women's bodies and she will formulate and compare what "men" think is attractive to what Dad does and if a Dad is not mindful of his behavior, she may think she's not OK based on Dad's behavior-so Dad's- watch who you are when you walk out the door .

This is what all little girls deserve.

Christina M Whinnery, Certified Massage Therapist

Author of: Navigational Skills: Inside the REAL Lives of Stepfamilies

If you have a story that you would like to contribute to this blog or are interested in participating in my research, email me at

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