Sunday, December 14, 2008

Best Stepmom Gift Ever

This is a story I wrote a few days ago for another post and thought it would be appropriate here. It is written with the permission and approval of my stepdaughter.

My stepdaughter Julie and I often were at odds with each other when she was in her teens. I felt we were competing for a place in the house and in my husband's life. It was really frustrating because in my head, I knew that there could never be competition between my husband's daughter and me because we both belong and had our place within this family. But still it was hard. It was even harder when she left for college and told us that she was so glad to leave this place and wasn't planning on coming back any time real soon. It broke my husband's heart but I felt I had failed as a stepmother. I kept wondering what I could have done better, said differently or if it was a good idea for me to have stayed around.

A year and a half later, Julie came over and said she wanted to talk to me. I thought that I was going to get another "You're not my mother", "I'm not ever coming back again" something. Instead, this young lady that had left our house very bitter and angry, came back to thank me for having been there for her and not giving up. She said she didn't know how anyone could do the job I did and get no thanks for it. Needless to say, I was balling my eyes out (a thing my kids enjoy doing to me). Never in my wilddess dreams had I thought that I would hear Julie thank me for being her stepmom. From that day on, my life and perspective changed about posibilities. I saw first hand that not giving up and visualizing the posibilities does create what you want. Thank you Julie for this beautiful life lesson.

Stepmom Claudette


  1. What a positively awesome story and KUDOS to your stepdaughter for being so strong and hanging in there with you too.

  2. Great story! I know the feeling of the seeming competition through personal experience. I'd like to add, for benefit of other stepmoms, that to not lose heart if their stepchild does not take the time to finally thank them. Some may think it but be too shy or introverted to say anything. Others may not specifically think it, but come to appreciate the stepmom anyway. It the case of the latter situation, the appreciation is shown in more subtle ways. I remember when my stepson asked me to tuck him in for bed and let me kiss him on the cheek. He never outwardly told me he appreciated me, but asking me to tuck him in meant the world to me.